Four days into the new year and for most of us our New Year’s resolutions are already teetering. There is something about the promise of a new year that makes us try to resolve that we will do better, live better, eat better, be better, but as the saying goes, “the best laid plans…”
Why is it that our resolutions almost always fail.? According to the results of my Google search, there are two meanings to the word resolution. One is a firm decision to do or not do something and the other is the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter. The latter definition appears to have some worth, as in the Kentucky Resolutions of 1798 penned by Thomas Jefferson:
“Resolved, that the several states composing the United States of America, are not united on the principle of unlimited submission to their General Government, but that by compact under the style and title of a Constitution for the United States an of amendments thereto.”
Jefferson’s attempt, however, to solve one of the problems imposed by states rights was never completely resolved. Even today, there are still some who wrestle with the issue. So, just like the ones we put forth as a new year begins, most resolutions do nothing, clarify nothing, bring about no change.
Our problem for the most part is that we focus on the activities, not the results. ‘I am going to go on a diet. I am going to eat right, I am going to exercise more, I am going to…..’ But, without an end result in sight, we lose interest and impetus quickly. I once had a boss who said, “If you have hazy, fuzzy goals, you will get hazy, fuzzy results”. He was right. No one ever got rich by saying “I am going to get rich.” Many, however, have gotten there by saying, “I am going to save $1000 by the end of the year.”
This year, I am bringing back a New Years practice from years past. Actually it dates back to when I worked for the aforementioned boss. For several years I would spend New Years eve making a list of the things I wanted to accomplish, my goals for the coming year. An amazing thing happened. After I made my list, I would not purposely look at it until the end of the year, but year after year, I would achieve a major portion of the goals I set at the beginning.
I remember one specific year when my list included: shoulder length hair, a piano, a certain weight and a certain salary. At the end of the year, without even thinking about it, I found myself with a new job at the salary I specified, shoulder length hair, the weight I wanted to be and a piano. When I looked at the list, I did not remember that a piano or shoulder length hair were included on my list of goals but something in my subconscious must have been aware all along because I achieved what I had written down.
I think that we were all created to be goal oriented, but over the years, we have let others assume the responsibility for what we should be doing until we no longer know where we want to go, just that something needs to change. We look at others who seem to be getting what they want, who seem to be achieving something and our jealousy increases along with our complacency. We find ourselves on the outside looking in at those whose lives are moving forward wondering why life is unfair.
Life is not always fair, but it has to be deliberately lived. You can’t wait for life to come to you or for someone else to do it for you. We have so many unhappy, unfulfilled people in our nation right now. They are waiting for something to change: for the immigrants to stop taking jobs, for their take home pay to go up, to win the lottery or at least win a new car when the only one who has the power to truly change their life is themselves. There is no magic, there is no prince charming, there is just us and a land where opportunity abounds. All that is needed is a vision of what one wants….that and a clear, written down goal.