It should be obvious to us, since it is to the rest of the world, that we Americans cannot control our appetites. This has been borne out recently by all the sexual harassment and abuse claims that have been leveled at so called “pillars” of the media, of the arts and even of our governing bodies. From the scandalous tales that are coming out now about Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, James Levine, Matt Lauer, Al Franken and John Conyers, one would think that we no longer have the ability to curb our desires. Apparently, many of those in powerful positions have succumbed to the idea that they can have whatever they want with no consequences.
Lest we be too quick to cast stones we should consider how our our thoughts and actions the past couple of weeks have been dominated by Black Friday bargains and Cyber Monday sales. We might have to reassess our ability to curtail our own desires. Overindulgence is not providing the happiness we seek but is killing us instead.
Our appetites are fueled by an advertising industry that constantly bombards us with suggestions that a 32-oz. coke or a double cheeseburger topped with onion rings and a side of fries is a great bargain. The fast food chains seem to be trying to outdo each other in creating the most calorie laden offering for their non-satiable customers. The portions at many restaurants are big enough to feed two, possibly three people. Drinks are becoming more exotic, laced with high calorie ingredients and increased alcohol levels. Despite these adjustments, our food is not getting better, just bigger.
No one is immune from the sales pitch. Several years ago, my husband and I were in Memphis for business. One evening, we went to a restaurant known for “cook your own size” steaks. My husband, a steak lover, saw a 32 oz. Porterhouse on the menu. Despite my protests that it was humanly impossible to consume that much steak, he ordered it along with a one-pound baked potato. When it came, he was determined to prove it was not a mistake. He could eat it all. I watched in horror and with some amusement as he proceeded to wolf the entire steak down. At the end he was no longer enjoying what might have been a good dinner, but he was not going to give me a chance to say, “I told you so”. He proved his point, but it was a hollow victory. By the time we got back to our hotel, he was miserable. He groaned all night long, but nothing could be done to soothe the pain of overindulgence.
There is no happiness and certainly no contentment in having it all. In fact, the opposite is true. Having too much only makes us self-indulgent. It reassures us that we can have whatever we want. Do you want to bankrupt yourself by always buying the latest electronic device? Go ahead, you deserve it. You want to have a relationship with a sixteen-year-old girl? That’s ok, you are special. Live for the moment. It doesn’t matter if another’s life is ruined as long as we get what we want.
We have lost the ability to find happiness in the simple pleasures: being satisfied with a job well done even if no one notices, bringing a smile to the face of a child or an elderly person, being happy for someone else’s success, or forgoing something that you want for the sake of another. These are the things that give us true happiness, the things that bring back warm feelings whenever we remember them.
Something tells me that none of the men accused in the past few weeks have fond memories of the times they used and hurt someone so badly. Self-indulgence is a lonely pastime. It may feed our natural desires, but it leaves us unsatisfied and spiritually depleted.
This season we are entering should not be about having it all or giving it all to our children. When I was young, I was envious of others when they described what they received for Christmas. In our family the gifts we received were very simple and very few. I could not see then that they were given with love and were therefore very valuable. Now, if someone were to tell me I could get whatever I want, I would pass. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything.
There are still those around who cannot say they don’t need anything. This Christmas, instead of over indulging yourself or your family and friends, look around for those who cannot do so and give to them instead. In doing so, you will be giving yourself a gift better than anything money can buy.